Self's The Man

Theme:

Larkin looks at the theme of marriage, and whether the choice is in love or ignorance. There is the argument that love is never selfless, and Larkin is attached to the idiocy of marriage. Selfishness is the main reason for staying single, though it becomes a realisation that marriage is a rite of passage.

Content:

Within the poem Larkin compares a single man and married man with each other. Arnold, the married man, has different views compared to the bachelor, however it's evident that the single man wants to get married but is worried about the concept, and suddenly confesses to his uncertainty.

Structure:

The poems structure is a 7 stanza poem with 4 lines on each. Larkin also uses the rhyming structure AABB, almost representing the change of opinion on marriage throughout the poem and the ordinary, repetitive nature of marriage.

In the sixth stanza the use of 'but' signifies a change in the poem. There is a change of pace, and the caesura makes it quicker with shorter lines. This displays the change in views, asking whether every choice is selfish whether this be to stay single or that Arnold's selfish because he chose to get married. 

Voice:

The casual tone in this poem is used by colloquial language like 'kiddies' clobber' and deflects on his worries in this way. 

Analysis:

• The persona in this poem is isolated, selfish, pitiful and in denial. His views are split and he changes his mind towards the end of the people because he knows what he can put up with/bear. 'Without them sending a van or I suppose I can', implies marriage is insanity, that he is still uncertain but could try and handle it even though he is doubtful.
• Larkin's view of marriage is stereotypical and cynical. People don't have time for themselves and marriage becomes tiring and annoying. 
• The view of women in this poem is negative and degrading. 'She' implies that the woman is objectified and anonymous, only known for her role and actions. Larkin complains, women always nagging and controlling, telling men what to do. They are lazy, relying on a man and just using them for their money whilst they go out and shop. The mother in law in this poem is formidable, a chore in itself to go see her and the persona really doesn't want to, with no freedom but to obey the rules.